Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Christmas Comdoms
Tis' the season to be giving, to be wrapping and unwrapping gifts of all sorts. Why not wrap a little something special and festive for your partner too?
Condom Country has a variety of condoms and novelty condoms. If you happen to be someone who loves wrapping presents, this might be the perfect holiday gift for you and your partner.
Condom Country has a variety of condoms and novelty condoms. If you happen to be someone who loves wrapping presents, this might be the perfect holiday gift for you and your partner.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
HNT -- Against the Wall
"I wanna get you in the bath tub
With the candle lit, you give it up till they go out"
Someone should really request something other than the shower pictures. Not that I mind, but really, I have tons of pictures, and at this rate, it seems like I only do it in the shower.With the candle lit, you give it up till they go out"
And by 'it', I mean 'take pictures', of course. ;-)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Ear Porn Rocks
No, I'm not talking about the Family Guy ear sex episode.
I'm one of those people that porn is pretty much useless to me if there's not sound.....or it's at least a million times less productive for me. I want to hear them fucking, their bodies smacking, their moaning and sighing. Too over-the-top or fake and it's going to make me roll my eyes, but some good, natural amateur porn? Yeah, I want to hear it all.
Ear Porn is all about that....but without the video component. There are other sites similar to this one, but there's just something about "ear porn" that has a nice ring to it, don't you think? :P
I'm one of those people that porn is pretty much useless to me if there's not sound.....or it's at least a million times less productive for me. I want to hear them fucking, their bodies smacking, their moaning and sighing. Too over-the-top or fake and it's going to make me roll my eyes, but some good, natural amateur porn? Yeah, I want to hear it all.
Ear Porn is all about that....but without the video component. There are other sites similar to this one, but there's just something about "ear porn" that has a nice ring to it, don't you think? :P
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Q&A Jokes
They're oldies, but many are goodies, so enjoy....
Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.
Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an
hour.
Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhea
Q. Why do gay men like ribbed condoms?
A. Better traction in the mud.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A . Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
A. You push it to the side before you start eating.
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand..
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A . They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
Q: What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A: The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q: How are pubic hairs like parsley?
A: You push them aside before you eat.
Q: What's the difference between Parsley and Pussy?
A: Nobody eats Parsley.
Q: What is the ultimate definition of courage?
A: Two cannibals having oral sex.
Q: Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts?
A: They were both designed for the kids, but it's the fathers who are always playing with them.
Q: What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny's batteries in
backwards?
A: He keeps coming and coming and coming...
Q: What is the speed for sex?
A: 68 - because if you go 69 you turn over
Q. Why did Mickey Mouse divorce Minnie Mouse?
A. Because she was fucking Goofy.
Q. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
A. "Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be one heck of a
blowjob!"
Q: What does KFC and a woman have in common?
A: Once you're done with the breasts and the thighs, there's still a greasy box to put your bone in.
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: "It might take me a while to get hard, I just got laid last night."
Q: What did one boob say to the other?
A: Don't hang so low, they'll think we're nuts.
Q: Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant?
A: Right before the tanks were full, he would pull out the
nozzle and spray gas all over the car.
Q: What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
A: One says ribbit ribbit, the other one says rub-it rub-it!
Q: How is the card game Bridge and sex alike?
A: If you don't have a good partner you better have a good hand.
Q: What is the difference between a 69 and driving in the fog?
A: When driving in the fog, you can't see the asshole in front of you.
Q: Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?
A: Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
Q: How can you tell if a witch is horny?
A: Check out which end of the broomstick she's riding.
Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.
Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an
hour.
Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhea
Q. Why do gay men like ribbed condoms?
A. Better traction in the mud.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A . Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
A. You push it to the side before you start eating.
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand..
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A . They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
Q: What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A: The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q: How are pubic hairs like parsley?
A: You push them aside before you eat.
Q: What's the difference between Parsley and Pussy?
A: Nobody eats Parsley.
Q: What is the ultimate definition of courage?
A: Two cannibals having oral sex.
Q: Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts?
A: They were both designed for the kids, but it's the fathers who are always playing with them.
Q: What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny's batteries in
backwards?
A: He keeps coming and coming and coming...
Q: What is the speed for sex?
A: 68 - because if you go 69 you turn over
Q. Why did Mickey Mouse divorce Minnie Mouse?
A. Because she was fucking Goofy.
Q. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
A. "Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be one heck of a
blowjob!"
Q: What does KFC and a woman have in common?
A: Once you're done with the breasts and the thighs, there's still a greasy box to put your bone in.
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: "It might take me a while to get hard, I just got laid last night."
Q: What did one boob say to the other?
A: Don't hang so low, they'll think we're nuts.
Q: Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant?
A: Right before the tanks were full, he would pull out the
nozzle and spray gas all over the car.
Q: What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
A: One says ribbit ribbit, the other one says rub-it rub-it!
Q: How is the card game Bridge and sex alike?
A: If you don't have a good partner you better have a good hand.
Q: What is the difference between a 69 and driving in the fog?
A: When driving in the fog, you can't see the asshole in front of you.
Q: Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?
A: Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
Q: How can you tell if a witch is horny?
A: Check out which end of the broomstick she's riding.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Christmas Shopping
So Christmas is just around the corner, and that means time to go gift shopping. Gifts for friends, for family, and for yourselves. The question most popular question this time of year seems to be "What would you like for Christmas?" Some people know exactly what they want, and others have no clue if they even want anything. Well lets be real hear, even if your boyfriend or girlfriend says they want nothing, you can bet that if that's what you give them you woln't live to see the new year.
In my experience, women aren't too difficult to shop for; some clothes, candles, music, just about anything that sparkles. Guys on the other hand... well guys just can't seem to find too much that catches their attention unless it goes 0-60mph in under 4 seconds. Women tend to get their guys ties, tools, or how to books to get them started on a new home project. While I love a good tie and one can never have too many good tools, there are some other creative options to consider that might help bring a little fire to the bedroom for those cold winter nights... Toys. You loved to get toys as a kid, why not get toys as an adult too!? I did a little surfing over the last week or two and found some pretty interesting toys for that guy on your list.
Now with male sex toys, the options seem pretty limited, but if you look hard enough you can find some pretty interesting ones.
In my experience, women aren't too difficult to shop for; some clothes, candles, music, just about anything that sparkles. Guys on the other hand... well guys just can't seem to find too much that catches their attention unless it goes 0-60mph in under 4 seconds. Women tend to get their guys ties, tools, or how to books to get them started on a new home project. While I love a good tie and one can never have too many good tools, there are some other creative options to consider that might help bring a little fire to the bedroom for those cold winter nights... Toys. You loved to get toys as a kid, why not get toys as an adult too!? I did a little surfing over the last week or two and found some pretty interesting toys for that guy on your list.
Now with male sex toys, the options seem pretty limited, but if you look hard enough you can find some pretty interesting ones.
- Monkey Spanker. Oddly enough, this one looks like a monkey wrench.
- Virtual Sex Stroker Masturbator. What guy dosen't love playing video games? Now of those guys, which of them don't love sex? The answer, is probably none of them, and when you put sex in a video game, the game sells. Now, make it possible for that guy to have sex WITH the game, and you have yourself one happy guy!
- Super Head Honcho. A toy that strokes his shaft and his ego! Let him know hes the boss... on your day off with this masterbation sleeve. Something he can use while you are out of town, or when you are just too exhausted for sex.
- Axe Towel. Now I haven't found if these are even buyable, but I figured they were too funny to not share them! Just a novelty item, but would sure get a few laughs from the locker room.
- Fleshlight. Laslty, theres the Fleshlight. This has to be about the most popular male sex toy on the market. Easy to use, easy to clean, and can come in different sizes, colors and textures. Like the head honcho, this is a toy for him to use himself, or when you really want to tease him!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Half-Nekkid Thursday (HNT) -- Smile!
I got a request for my lips....and yes, the ones on my face. ;-)Sorry it's so small -- I pulled it from an old picture that I still had uploaded that I liked how my smile looked. Half-nekkid behind a hint of lip gloss....
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
Dr. Seuss gets horny, too
Anyone who knows me, knows I had a strong Dr. Seuss upbringing. I love the silly rhymes and made up words. The sheer fun of entire books full of randomness that somehow made sense.
Then again, maybe I just love it doggystyle and didn't realize it until now. Thanks Mobius. ;-)
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