Wordless Wednesday

Sunday Funnies

Christmas Comdoms

Tis' the season to be giving, to be wrapping and unwrapping gifts of all sorts. Why not wrap a little something special and festive for your partner too?
Condom Country has a variety of condoms and novelty condoms. If you happen to be someone who loves wrapping presents, this might be the perfect holiday gift for you and your partner.

Wordless Wednesday -- Merry Christmas

Sunday Funnies

HNT -- Against the Wall

"I wanna get you in the bath tub
With the candle lit, you give it up till they go out"

Someone should really request something other than the shower pictures. Not that I mind, but really, I have tons of pictures, and at this rate, it seems like I only do it in the shower.

And by 'it', I mean 'take pictures', of course. ;-)

Virgin Mary?

Ear Porn Rocks

No, I'm not talking about the Family Guy ear sex episode.

I'm one of those people that porn is pretty much useless to me if there's not sound.....or it's at least a million times less productive for me. I want to hear them fucking, their bodies smacking, their moaning and sighing. Too over-the-top or fake and it's going to make me roll my eyes, but some good, natural amateur porn? Yeah, I want to hear it all.

Ear Porn is all about that....but without the video component. There are other sites similar to this one, but there's just something about "ear porn" that has a nice ring to it, don't you think? :P

Sunday Funnies

Q&A Jokes

They're oldies, but many are goodies, so enjoy....





Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?

A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.



Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson?

A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.



Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?

A. Marry it.



Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.



Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?

A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.



Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?

A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an

hour.



Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?

A: Gonorrhea



Q. Why do gay men like ribbed condoms?

A. Better traction in the mud.

Q. What's the height of conceit?

A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.



Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?

A . Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.



Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?

A. You push it to the side before you start eating.



Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.



Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is bedtime?

A. When the big hand touches the little hand..



Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?

A . They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.



Q: What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?

A: The longer you play with them, the harder they get.



Q: How are pubic hairs like parsley?

A: You push them aside before you eat.



Q: What's the difference between Parsley and Pussy?

A: Nobody eats Parsley.



Q: What is the ultimate definition of courage?

A: Two cannibals having oral sex.



Q: Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts?

A: They were both designed for the kids, but it's the fathers who are always playing with them.



Q: What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny's batteries in

backwards?

A: He keeps coming and coming and coming...



Q: What is the speed for sex?

A: 68 - because if you go 69 you turn over




Q. Why did Mickey Mouse divorce Minnie Mouse?

A. Because she was fucking Goofy.



Q. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

A. "Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be one heck of a

blowjob!"



Q: What does KFC and a woman have in common?

A: Once you're done with the breasts and the thighs, there's still a greasy box to put your bone in.



Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?

A: "It might take me a while to get hard, I just got laid last night."



Q: What did one boob say to the other?

A: Don't hang so low, they'll think we're nuts.



Q: Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant?

A: Right before the tanks were full, he would pull out the

nozzle and spray gas all over the car.



Q: What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?

A: One says ribbit ribbit, the other one says rub-it rub-it!



Q: How is the card game Bridge and sex alike?

A: If you don't have a good partner you better have a good hand.



Q: What is the difference between a 69 and driving in the fog?

A: When driving in the fog, you can't see the asshole in front of you.



Q: Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?

A: Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.



Q: How can you tell if a witch is horny?

A: Check out which end of the broomstick she's riding.

HNT -- This is spot you should lick, kiss, suck, bite, touch, caress....

Christmas Shopping

So Christmas is just around the corner, and that means time to go gift shopping. Gifts for friends, for family, and for yourselves. The question most popular question this time of year seems to be "What would you like for Christmas?" Some people know exactly what they want, and others have no clue if they even want anything. Well lets be real hear, even if your boyfriend or girlfriend says they want nothing, you can bet that if that's what you give them you woln't live to see the new year.

In my experience, women aren't too difficult to shop for; some clothes, candles, music, just about anything that sparkles. Guys on the other hand... well guys just can't seem to find too much that catches their attention unless it goes 0-60mph in under 4 seconds. Women tend to get their guys ties, tools, or how to books to get them started on a new home project. While I love a good tie and one can never have too many good tools, there are some other creative options to consider that might help bring a little fire to the bedroom for those cold winter nights... Toys. You loved to get toys as a kid, why not get toys as an adult too!? I did a little surfing over the last week or two and found some pretty interesting toys for that guy on your list.

Now with male sex toys, the options seem pretty limited, but if you look hard enough you can find some pretty interesting ones.

• Monkey Spanker. Oddly enough, this one looks like a monkey wrench.

• Virtual Sex Stroker Masturbator. What guy dosen't love playing video games? Now of those guys, which of them don't love sex? The answer, is probably none of them, and when you put sex in a video game, the game sells. Now, make it possible for that guy to have sex WITH the game, and you have yourself one happy guy!

• Super Head Honcho. A toy that strokes his shaft and his ego! Let him know hes the boss... on your day off with this masterbation sleeve. Something he can use while you are out of town, or when you are just too exhausted for sex.

• Axe Towel. Now I haven't found if these are even buyable, but I figured they were too funny to not share them! Just a novelty item, but would sure get a few laughs from the locker room.

• Fleshlight. Laslty, theres the Fleshlight. This has to be about the most popular male sex toy on the market. Easy to use, easy to clean, and can come in different sizes, colors and textures. Like the head honcho, this is a toy for him to use himself, or when you really want to tease him!

There's plenty of other great gifts out there so get looking and find what's right for your man this Christmas!

Sunday Funnies

Taking the "job" out of "blowjob"

Half-Nekkid Thursday (HNT) -- Smile!

I got a request for my lips....and yes, the ones on my face. ;-)

Sorry it's so small -- I pulled it from an old picture that I still had uploaded that I liked how my smile looked. Half-nekkid behind a hint of lip gloss....

Worldless Wednesday -- Peek-a-boob

Check out more here

(I love this angle. Maybe I'll have to mimic it myself for a future HNT.)

Dr. Seuss gets horny, too

Anyone who knows me, knows I had a strong Dr. Seuss upbringing. I love the silly rhymes and made up words. The sheer fun of entire books full of randomness that somehow made sense.

Then again, maybe I just love it doggystyle and didn't realize it until now. Thanks Mobius. ;-)

Sunday Funnies

"My dick" is not an acceptable answer

To go along with Peko's post last week, here's another eHarmony tidbit. Ah well. Sorry guys.

HNT -- So maybe it's more like completely nekkid....oops!

Well it's almost like I'm only half-nekkied....you can only see part of me! I had a friend choose a random body part and tummy was chosen, so there you have it.

Wordless Wednesday -- Too good to be true

Link

Nailing your wife

This time, it's not in the traditional way. Thanks to Dave for this one.

PG Porn -- For people who love everything about porn, except the sex. ;-)

Nailing Your Wife | Girls | SPIKE.com

Why couldn't I have been at that conference?

I want to plug sperm into my laptop, too. :(

Apparently they were handed out at the American Society For Reproductive Medicine's conference this year.

Sunday Funnies

eHarmony Sued

One of the internet's biggest online dating sites, eHarmony.com, is being sued for refusing to offer matchs for gays. The site, founded by evangelical christian Dr. Neil Clark Warren, matches men and women together for those who can't seem to find the time to sit down and get to know somone. It's sort of speed dating, only through the internet. It wasn't created to find a one night stand like some other sites on the web, but to try and help people who cant seem to find "the right one." When I say the site helps people to find "the right one," I should say it helps you find the right one... so long as you're straight.

There are a number of online dating sites and many of them cater to both the straight and gay community, however eHarmony.com is not one of them. Knowing Dr. Neil Clark Warren's religious views, it seems clear why his site does not involve gay matches. His beliefs influenced the way he chose to set up the site and perform matches. When Linda Carlson went to eHarmony to look for a match, she found there was no woman seeking woman option, or man seeking man for that matter. Linda decided to sue because she feels that eHarmony is discriminating based on sexual orientation.

With all the websites out there I would think that she would have just moved on to another site, but she has filed a class action lawsuit against eHarmony.

I haven't found anything on the web yet, but yesterday I heard on the radio that eHarmony was, to try and avoid a court battle, planning on releasing another site for the gay community. Possibly named "partners.com", the website would be run by the same company, however offer match making for gays and lesbians. I guess thats one way to solve their legal problem, but is it really addressing the issue of discrimination of sexual orientation? It would mean eHarmony would still not offer match making for gays, only a link to a sister site that would offer matches.

You can't order you're food here, but if you walk around back, we'll see what we can do.

For more information check out some of these sites.
Gay Rights Watch
Christian Examiner Online

Eliana Pussy Cat

Video Link

Just watch it.

It's well worth it.

Blame Peko if you don't like it, hehe.

(And if you're having any issues getting the link to work, go to yuvutu's home page, say that you're over 18, and 'then' click the link....sometimes it can be a little screwy when trying to go straight to the video.)

HNT -- Peek-a-boo!

I know guys....the anticipation of getting to see my sexy elbow instead is probably killing you, but these pictures will have to hold you over for now. ;-)

Wordless Wednesday -- Does the carpet match the....nails?

Sunday Funnies

Blame it on the Voices

Touch me more....a lot more

No really, touch me, touch me, touch me.

It'll lower my stress and make me happier. I certainly can't deny myself of that and neither should you. ;-)

Couples who hug, kiss and otherwise find ways to get close everyday may have fewer stress hormones coursing through their bodies, a new study suggests.

The findings, reported in the journal Psychosomatic Medicine, point to one potential reason that close relationships -- and marriage, in particular -- have been linked to better health.

Researchers found that among 51 German couples they followed for one week, those who reported more physical contact during a given day -- whether it was sexual intercourse or just holding hands -- generally had lower levels of the "stress" hormone cortisol.

This was especially true of couples who reported more problems at work, suggesting that some physical affection between mates may be a buffer against work stress.

......

Read the rest of the article here: Intimacy Fights Stress

Half-Nekkid Thursday (HNT) -- Does this underwear make my boots look big?

Wordless Wednesday -- Passion

Link

(Don't forget to click for a larger view and more from the same person)

"A whole nude world" and "Dirty little mermaid"

I have several things I want to do full write-ups on and it keeps getting put off, so in the meantime, enjoy some naughty Disney music.

Sunday funnies

CartoonStock.com

I'm really starting to enjoy browsing this site!

This is a condom. Can you say it out loud?

This is a cartoon condom.

This is a huge condom.

This is a selection of dresses made out of condoms.


This is Condom Grandma with a bag of condoms.

This is a condom advertisement.

This is an array of condoms hanging out to dry.
This is a creatively presented set of condoms.
This is a box of sheepskin/lambskin condoms for those with latex allergies.

This is a slightly creepy guy showing spray-on condoms.

This is a female condom.

This is a small contraption intended to make it easier to put a condom on.

Are you guys catching the drift yet? These are CONDOMS. It's okay to say the word. Really.

Then again, maybe it's not. Indian censor boards decided that in the movie Hello, saying the word "condom" was inappropriate. They didn't, however, find any problem with leaving the sex scene in the movie. They simply silenced the portion where the lead actress asked the guy if he had a condom.

Half-Nekkid Thursday (HNT) -- Happy birthday BTExpress!!

Happy belated birthday, BTExpress! Hope it was a good one! :D

Wordless Wednesday -- Shower Quilt

Link
(Don't forget to click for a larger view and more from the same person)

Are you flirting? Probably.

If you don't know if you're flirting or not, chances are, you probably are. Or you're a teenager who 'thinks' she's/he's flirting, but really isn't.

Either way, Am I Flirting? is a fairly new site....only a couple weeks old. Readers write in their examples and questions about what is considered flirting....and someone answers. They range from "asking someone what they're reading" to "talking about porn." Some of the answers are rather witty, so I'm passing it along.

Maybe I should send in some questions. Is it flirting if I show my readers pictures of my ass? How about my big toe? Hmmm.

Sunday funnies

Sorry about the late funnies post, I've had some computer problems the last week and haven't had a lot of time to find the right one. ;-) I found this one while browsing The Sex eZine. Dont forget to click on the image to watch since its a GIF.

Half-Nekkid Thursday (HNT)

For those who aren't familiar with it, check out the recent refresher course here. Basically, a bunch of bloggers post "half-nekkid" photos of themselves. This means that although in the sex blogging world, it could be boobs, or like my first one here, asses......"half-nekkid" doesn't always mean nude, so don't be surprised if you see lips, ears, or the sexy inside of my elbow. ;-)

I've been viewing HNTs for a long time now, so I'm excited to jump in this first time. It gives me a great excuse/way to get my feet wet with posting my pictures here, too. And for those who know me from elsewhere, you'll be seeing some repeat pictures for a little while. Hope you don't mind. :P

Wordless Wednesday -- Snake

Link

(Don't forget to click for a larger view and more from the same person)

(I thought it'd be too cliche to post a slutty Halloween costume, so I went for the creepy crawly instead. Mmm.)

Savory Deviate Delight (World of Warcraft Cooking Recipe)

(Ninja and pirate costumes obtained by eating savory deviate delight)

I knew when we settled on "Deviant Delight" as the title for here, that we would end up getting some traffic from people looking for the WoW savory deviate delight cooking recipe.

So for you guys, here are some links to Thottbot.

Savory Deviate Delight cooking recipe and Savory Deviate Delight -- The cooking recipe is a random drop out in the Barrens. Some people get lucky and it drops quickly.....others kill hundreds of creatures and are left crying. Just go tough it out farming or pay the price on the auction house. Here's the link to the raw deviate fish page as well.

From there, you should be able to find all the details about where to find the recipe, where to fish, and what sorts of buffs, transformations, and silly fun comes from eating them.

Sunday funnies

Sex Bikes -- The Best Kind of Exercise?

I hate exercising. I have no desire to get up off my ass to work out when I could otherwise be quite comfy in my own bed, browsing through sex blogs or looking at porn.

So when I see things like this, it really fucks with my head. No, I still have no motivation to actually go use one of these, but for others who are looking for that little extra spark to keep their exercising adrenaline up, hey, this might actually be fun!

While not everyone is going to have the luxury of riding around in the buff like shown in the picture at Anna Louise's, what about a cute little tennis skirt or some crotchless undies? Take along a riding buddy and by the time you get home, I'm sure you'll both be ready for a different kind of ride. Now *that's* my kind of exercise.

I LOVE my Wii!

The Nintendo Wii has a very unique design. It uses two controllers, one held in each hand, to play through a number of different games and puzzles. There have been a number of unique games created as well where the player has to perform physical acts to progress the game. Its this uniqueness thats stirred up such buzz about the system, however there is something new that Nintendo themselves could not have drempt up for the thrilling system...

Wii Sex!

I stumbled across Wii sex while visiting Current.com. Now I've seen and played random sex games on the internet. While most of them were cheesy and played just to pass the time, this looks like something you could really get into, pardon the pun. Combining a video game with sex would be the ultimate nerd thrill! It would allow all the timid and shy nerds across the world to entertain their body and their mind as they get ready to face real women!

Sadly, Wii Sex shall not come to pass, atlest not just yet. Visiting the site wiisexgame.com I came to find out that it was only an April Fools joke. While just a joke, maybe it's something that Nintendo SHOULD think about, making games (and "controllers") for an adult market. Then again... try explaining to your kids why you took their wii to bed with you...

Wordless Wednesday -- Kiss Me!

Link to album
(Don't forget to click for a larger view and more from the same person)

(For those who aren't familiar with the blogosphere's famous Wordless Wednesdays, this will be a continuing outlet for some of the amazing (and not-so-amazing) images I find across the web and want to share.....but without words......except for what I put in parentheses, because hey, I don't always follow the directions. :P)